There have been numerous studies about why the Millenial generation is having far less sex compared to past generations despite the current culture being saturated in sexual imagery and the technology being available that makes connecting individuals far easier than ever before. With a culture that promotes sexual activity via TV shows, movies, advertisements, and internet porn along with the technology that provides the means to make those sexual relationships a reality via Facebook, Instagram and Tinder, people should be having MORE sex than ever before, but the exact opposite is happening. What gives?
Quoted from the study:
“Millennials embraced more permissive attitudes toward non-marital sex but reported fewer sexual partners than GenX’ers born in the 1960s. Overall, this is a time of fascinating changes in the sexual landscape of the United States.”
This article will answer the question that the eggheads conducting the study couldn’t figure out: Why do Millenials have the most liberal views on sex, yet have the least amount of sex?
WHO IS TO BLAME?
First off, women are the gatekeepers of sex. Pretty much every guy with a normal sex drive would prefer to get laid daily if he could, so I don’t think we can really blame men for the sexual drought that plagues this generation. It is true that there is large portion of men that take themselves out of the dating pool, relegating themselves to video games and internet porn. However, there is still a large portion of guys that are doing everything in their power and still struggling to get laid. All you need to do is watch an attractive girl wait for a bus on a Friday night and you’ll see dudes descend on her like flies on shit – guys are putting in effort. So if women are the gatekeepers of sex, then why do they not want sex as much as previous generations?
THIRSTY DUDES ABOUND
All you need to do to find out how many clueless guys there are out there is to have a look at a hot girl’s Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, or Youtube account. You’ll fine countless hordes or guys spamming the inboxes of these girls with compliments, hoping and praying that they get noticed by the objects of their worship. It’s pathetic, but predictable. Hitting on a girl is easy over text which is why so many guys do it. Unfortunately, all the attention these girls receive online makes it more difficult for everyone to get laid and I will elaborate on that later.
THE ULTIMATE VALIDATION DEVICE – THE SMART PHONE
It’s no secret girls love their phones. Everywhere you look, girls are staring into their phones: on transit, walking down the street, at the gym, at the bar, at the mall – everywhere. Yes, I know guys spend a lot of time staring into their phones as well, but for girls, the phone is a whole different world.
For a girl, her phone is a constant reminder that she is hot and desirable. Post a hot pic on Facebook, Instagram, or Tinder and watch the validation come flooding in. With a constant and never ending supply of guys trying to get into her pants, there is no urgency to make a decision on a guy. It’s just easier and more comfortable to soak up the attention.
One common misconception for a lot of guys is that when a girl is consistently posting sexy pics on Instagram, Facebook, and other online apps, that she’s “slutty” and probably banging a lot of guys. In my experience, it’s the very opposite. The more a girl attention whores online, the less sex she’s actually having. She’s not after sex, she’s after attention.
I’ve known some very high sex drive and experienced girls in my day and guess what? They didn’t use Tinder or spend much time posting sexy pics on Facebook or Instagram. They didn’t need to. They had all the validation they needed by actually having sex! It works the same way for both sexes. When you are getting laid consistently, you don’t feel the need to spend much time or energy campaigning online for people to “Look at me! Look at how sexy I am!” You’re too busy actually getting laid.
Like I’ve discussed in a previous article Wife or Girlfriend Refuses Sex, generally, women crave attention more than they crave sex and the more attention she receives, the less urgency she feels to have sex. Sure, there are some high sex drive women out there that have a lot of sex and tend to have a lot of different partners, but the vast majority don’t get laid very much and have few sexual partners. The studies bare this out despite the media’s claim of the current “Hook Up Culture”. This fact is easily provable, all you need is a Tinder account.
Let’s have a look at Tinder – an app which the media claims is “THEE Hookup App”. Try this experiment to see how many girls are actually looking to hook up with a sexy guy. Make a fake Tinder account with pictures of a guy that you believe looks like sex incarnate to young women. Now text all the matches that you will surely receive and invite every girl you text to come over to your place to join you for dinner and movies.
Now, if we are currently living in a “Hookup Culture” and most people are using Tinder to hook up, then you would have to assume that the majority of these girls would take you up on this offer, right? Well, I’ve got news for you – only a small percentage of the girls will agree to come over and that’s for a guy that looks like every girl’s wet dream. The fact of the matter is, the majority of girls are using Tinder for the attention, which is why I stress pitching the meet up very early on in the conversation to screen out the time wasters. There will also be a large portion of girls that are looking for their “Unicorn Man” that must meet their mile long criteria before she considers putting out. You know the type. The guy has to be good looking, fit, 6 feet tall or taller, have a high paying career, drive an expensive car, have a nice house, he has to be desired by lots of women and is a bit of a player, but still willing to spend lots of time and money on her before he gets sex. You can add a million of other criteria to list, but in essence, the man they are looking for simply doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t stop them from trying. That’s what endless abundance does to many women. They are given too many options that they can’t make and stick to a decision. It’s like letting a little girl into an ice cream shop with thousands of flavors:
“Do I want Rocky Road or Bubble Gum? Oh, they have Cotton Candy! Or maybe Butter Pecan is the best. Maybe if I look around more, I’ll find something better.”
The line up of willing guys out there is never ending online, so she feels absolutely no urgency to decide on any one guy. Instead of being excited about an attractive guy showing interest in her, it’s just kind of like: “Meh. Maybe I’ll go out with him or maybe I’ll just wait for someone better.” There is no urgency to decide. The end result are that many girls will window shop for guys for years end without ever find one they like. I discuss more of this phenomena in my Why I Don’t Look For Girlfriend’s Online article.
BEFORE THE INTERNET
Before smartphones, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, and Tinder, if a girl wanted to feel sexy and desirable, she actually had to meet men in person. Whether it be at school, work, the bar or walking down the street, if a man wanted to meet an attractive girl he had to grab his balls and go talk to her. For this reason, few men were willing to risk the possible rejection and embarrassment, and therefore, a woman’s options for men were minuscule when compared to today’s online environment.
Before online interference, a girl’s exposure to male attention was so much lower that when an attractive guy did hit on her, it was a BIG deal. She was excited to meet him, excited to date him, excited to sleep with him and would treat him far better in a relationship. Everyone had more sex as a result.
VALIDATION IS BULLSHIT
The sad truth is that all the attention and validation that girls crave so much is essentially bullshit. I’ve been guilty of this as well. Before I grew the balls to start approaching attractive women that caught my eye, I wasted way too much time soaking up validation from having girls check me out while going about my daily routine. I remember feeling good about myself that girls found me attractive and because I didn’t approach them, I didn’t need to risk the pain of rejection. This went on for way too long before I finally snapped out it. What the fuck am I doing? All those “looks” mean nothing. Go talk to them, get laid, and get some girlfriends. Get something tangible!
It works the same way for girls. Since a woman’s status is determined by how much attention she gets, many women, usually when they are young, will at some point in their lives seek to soak up as much male attention as possible. However, unlike men who gain status by getting laid a lot, women actually lose status by doing the same thing. If Julie sleeps around more than her group, then it won’t be long before they start cutting her down. “OMG Julie is so easy!” That’s why, for a lot of girls, life within their social circle is one big competition to see who can be the biggest cocktease without actually getting any cock. That’s one of the reasons hitting on big groups of girls is usually a waste of time.
Whether it be wasting countless hours accumulating Instagram followers or “fans”, or obsessing over how many “likes” a picture gets, or seeing how many guys want to fuck her on Tinder, it all amounts to nothing in the end. The feelings of being hot and desired are fleeting and produce nothing long term. Some girls realize this faster than others, while some girls make careers from being professional attention whores on Instagram and Youtube.
Technology is a double edged sword. On one hand, technology has made attention whoring easier than ever before and as a result, men get frustrated and overall sexual activity takes a hit. On the other hand, technology makes it easier than ever before to find the girls that are looking for exactly what you are: to get laid and have amazing relationships. Therefore, if you put a bit of time and effort into maximizing your appearance and taking good pictures, you can absolutely clean up online. Turn the negatives of technology into a positive and adapt and overcome.