Like I always stress, getting girls is a numbers game – the majority of girls are NOT looking for a new man in their life, no matter how great he is. However, when you don’t approach very many girls, your mind starts to play tricks on you.
Maybe you approach one or two girls a week. You get “rejected” and all of your deepest insecurities rise to the surface. “Maybe I’m too old, maybe I’m too short, maybe I wasn’t dressed well enough, maybe I don’t make enough money, maybe my ‘opener’ was off.” Basically your brain will bring up all your insecurities as a way to rationalize WHY you were rejected, when all that is required is to talk to more girls.
If you keep talking to new girls, you may get a string of rejections, but then you’ll find a live one where you get laid without ever changing a thing. You’re the same guy, with the same age, same height, same clothes, same money, and same words. The only difference is that you found a sexually available girl – it’s the nature of the beast.
You can’t spend much time analyzing any one interaction, since strangers are random. You will never know WHY you were rejected by a particular girl, so forget about it. You have to look at the big picture and tease out the patterns. If you ask out 30 or so girls and don’t end up getting a date, THEN there is most likely a problem that needs to be addressed.
There have been times in my life when I’ve been busy and haven’t talked to many girls and when I get “rejected”, I start to think that maybe I’m too old for girls like her or maybe I don’t make enough money, or insert whatever insecurity. Then I take a deep breathe and ask myself, “How many girls of this caliber have I asked out recently?” The number is always laughably low and then I remind myself that this shit is a numbers game and that I have to put in the numbers to see results.
The same thing happens in sales. Back when I sold cars, I remember slow times when customers were few and far between. When I finally did meet customer and they didn’t end up buying, my doubts and insecurities would rise to the surface: “Maybe I said something stupid, maybe my breathe stunk, maybe I should have asked them more questions.” Then I would eventually meet more customers and they would end up buying without me changing a thing. You have to put in the numbers to see the patterns.
Once you are approaching at least one girl a day, your insecurities about why you were rejected largely disappear. This is because, if you consistently talk to new girls you will undoubtedly see some success and this success will help prove to yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, all that is required is to put in more numbers.