You may not realize it at this point in your life, but success is largely one big numbers game of randomness and probabilities. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us are taught from a very young age to avoid as much risk and randomness as possible with the hopes of bypassing the dreadful failure and rejection that our society fears so much. We are taught that if you work hard enough and placate your inner perfectionist (inner neurosis), you can succeed without having to experience failure.
However, that’s not how the real world works. In the real world, success is born from repeated failure which is why playing the numbers game is so important.
Want your business to grow? Tell more people about your business despite the vast majority of them not giving a shit about your business.
Want more sales? Talk to more prospects despite the vast majority of them not being interested in buying your product.
Want a better job? Talk to more employers that have the job you want despite most of them not hiring.
Want to get laid more? Talk to more girls despite the vast majority of them not looking for a new dick in their life.
Want a hot girlfriend? Talk to more hot girls despite the vast majority of them being unavailable.
Just because most people reject your sexual advances or your product, does NOT mean that you or your product needs improvement. Even if you and your product were absolutely perfect, you will still be “rejected” the majority of time – this is something you just have deal with.
THE PERFECT VACUUM
I want you to imagine the world’s best salesman selling the world’s best vacuum on the side of busy street. If you’ve never done sales before, you would probably think that this super salesman would be able to sell quite a few vacuums with the majority of people buying his product, but you would be WRONG. The majority of people don’t NEED a new vacuum, so they don’t give a shit how much better it is than their old one. Their current vacuum does a good enough job, so why would they buy another one? However, there will be a few people that DO need a new vacuum. Maybe their current vacuum recently kicked the bucket or maybe it just doesn’t suck as well as it used to. These people will be VERY interested in his sales pitch and because his product is so good, there’s a high chance they end up buying it. It’s simply a numbers game. You have to find the few people that need your product.
MOST GIRLS ARE ALREADY TAKEN
This might come as a surprise to some guys, but the majority of girls are already taken. They already have their man situation figured out and he does a good enough job that they don’t feel the need to look for a new one. This is why a guy can look great and have a ton of experience with girls and still get “rejected” the majority of the time. The majority of girls aren’t looking for a new dick in their life and it doesn’t matter how much better you are in comparison to her current man. When a girl is already heavily invested in a guy, they don’t give a shit how much better you are. However, there will be a few girls that either don’t have a man or are looking to upgrade from their current man. These girls will definitely be interested in meeting up with you provided you look good and can hold a basic conversation. Again, it’s a numbers game. The majority aren’t going to be interested, but there will be a few that are very interested.
THE NUMBER ONE KEY TO SALES
I got started in the car sales business with the hopes of perfecting my “salesmanship” and making big money. I worked at several dealerships and after some observation of the top salesmen I discovered that they all had one thing in common – they all got to play the numbers game more than anyone else. All the senior salesmen were being fed internet leads from the dealership management, so they had several appointments with qualified customers every day. No wonder they were living like kings, while the rest of us were left scrambling around trying to find ONE customer a day to talk to. Needless to say, car or product knowledge had very little to do with the sale and despite what most people think, the most important factor for a good salesman was not how “smooth” you are. What matters is how many opportunities you have to make the sale. The more customers you talk to, the more you sell – every time.
SMALL TOWN SCARCITY THINKING
I think most people grow up with a scarce mentality, myself included. Better not ask that hot chick out in high school, since rejection could mean you take a hit to your social status in your little high school world. Better not apply for that job because if you don’t get it, they’re all going to laugh at you. It’s ridiculous, but we all have this fear to some degree.
I remember growing up in a small town and while I was in high school I really wanted to work part time at video store – yeah, remember those? Before the internet and NetFlix, people had to actually go to stores to rent videos! Free videos, working with female co-workers, and talking to mostly happy customers all day, what more could a high school guy want for a part time job? So what did I do? I spent a ton of time appeasing my inner perfectionist by perfecting my resume and then I walked into the big Blockerbuster store and asked if the manager was available. He wasn’t in, so I left my resume with one of the employees. Needless to say, I never heard back from them.
I remember thinking that my resume just wasn’t good enough and that I didn’t have the proper experience to land a job like that. Ridiculous scarcity thinking! It never occurred to me that there wasn’t any positions available at the time and that I should apply to EVERY movie store within a reasonable distance and speak with every manager of these stores. If that didn’t get me a job, then I should have just repeated the process a month later. Scarcity leads to self doubt and negative thinking, while playing the numbers game leads to abundance and positive thinking.
If you want to score a lot in life, you’re going to have to take a lot of shots and you’re going to miss most of them, but that’s okay because that’s the price of success.
PLAYING THE NUMBERS GAME IS SCARY
I understand that playing the numbers game is scary. If I ask that girl out and she says, “No”, then everyone will think I’m a loser. If I apply for that job that I want and I don’t get it, then everyone at that business will think I’m a loser. Your mind thinks you live in a little fishbowl when you’re actually living in a limitless ocean. That girl that “rejected” you and everyone that saw you get rejected has forgot about you in 24 hours. That business that didn’t hire you, forgot about you as soon as you left the door. Most of things you pursue will NOT be available, you just have to keep trying until you find the girl, job, or sale that is available.
IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO INTERNALIZE THE NUMBERS GAME
If you would have told me that sales was a numbers game in my first month of selling cars, I would have to told you, “That’s bullshit, the most ‘skilled’ salesmen obviously sells the most cars!” It was only after I sold a number of cars that I realized it didn’t matter how ‘smooth’ I was, what mattered was how many customers I got to talk to. My top selling month, I spent a lot of time at the dealership’s welcoming desk with the receptionist, so I got to speak to more customers and of course make more sales. Senior salesmen didn’t like this, so they were constantly complaining to management to keep the new guys away from the entrance. They knew it was a numbers game, and it took a little while before I figured it out as well.
I had a similar numbers game epiphany while hitting on girls at a bus stop. I was waiting at a bus stop and an average looking girl was close by, so I tried making small talk. “Did you just get off work?” There’s going to be some PUA dorks chiming in with what lame opener that is, but players with experience know that the words don’t matter. She replied with a one word answer. I kept asking her questions, but her replies were short. I introduced myself and held out my hand to shake hands, but she just turned away. I remember thinking that maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I asked too many questions or whatever. It bummed me out for a few minutes, but then a hotter girl showed up and sat down with her headphones in. I mustered up the courage to try again. I waved my hands through her field of vision to get her attention since she had headphones in. She took her headphones out with a big smile and I used the same “lame” opener, except this girl was all smiles and I couldn’t get her to shut up. I got the girl’s number, eventually got laid and had a short term relationship with her.
I saw an elderly Asian women with a big smile on her face as she got to witness the failure and triumph that comes from the numbers game. This is where I started to wrap my head around that the fact that the words had very little to do with your results with girls. What matters is that you look good and that the girl is open to meeting new men.
Obviously you want to improve your product or yourself as much as possible to maximize your odds of success, but keep in mind that no matter how much you or your product improve, you are still dealing random strangers, each with their own needs, wants, and circumstances. For this reason, life will always be one big numbers game: there is a hell of a lot of randomness and probability, so you just have to grab your balls and keep rolling the dice until you win.