First Date Expectations

The common believe in the “seduction community” is that every girl will sleep with you on the first date provided you are “sexy enough”, “smooth enough”, or “build enough comfort”. It’s complete BULLSHIT. That is as ludicrous as saying you can close any sale as long as you are smooth enough or build enough rapport. Contrary to what most of the community believe, once you have a decent amount of experience with getting laid on the first date, whether or not you end up getting laid on the first date is almost entirely based on the girl’s first date EXPECTATIONS.

I’ll use sales to help illustrate this point. For example, let’s say that you are a 25 year old high school teacher and your old Chevy is starting to break down, so you figure it’s time to upgrade to your dream car – a new Porsche. After all, you researched online about how much luxury vehicle prices are marked up, so you figure you can afford it as long as you haggle your ass off. With that in mind, you go into the Porsche dealership ready to test drive a new car and negotiate a sweet deal on your new purchase.

With that said, do you honestly think the world’s best Porsche salesman would be able to get you to buy a new Porsche? HELL NO. Why? Because your expectations are in another stratisphere! As soon as you found out that you would be paying close to $100,000 for the car and not the $45,000 that you expected, you would be out that dealership in a heartbeat. Only a complete idiot would blame the salesman for not being “smooth” enough to close the sale.

The same thing happens when you are on a first date with a girl. Every girl goes into a first date with certain expectations and if you meet or exceed those expectations you end up getting laid and/or getting a second date. On the other hand, if you do not meet her expectations, you will not get laid or get a second date.

There are four types of girls that you will meet on the first date: the DTF Girls, the G-Rated Girls, the Time-Waster Girls, and the “We’ll see what happens” Girls. You won’t truly know what a girl’s first date expectations are until you get her back to your lair and try to physically escalate. You can’t exactly say, “Hey, are you comfortable having sex tonight?” or “How many dates do you go on before you’re ready for sex?” This obviously isn’t a great idea.

I find the most reliable way of determining a girl’s expectations without being too explicit is to get her back to your place and pay attention to her body language. I used to think body language wasn’t worth paying attention to, but with much experience I have come to accept that the body does not lie, so PAY ATTENTION and respond accordingly.



“I hope this guy can tell that I dig him and can lead things towards the bedroom without making me feel like a slut.”

DTF Girls are great, it’s pretty much lust at first sight. The moment she meets you, whether it be from online or cold approach, you want to fuck her and she wants to fuck you. You both have the same expectations, so the conversation flows pretty easy, touching her and escalating goes down without a hitch, and you both get what you came for – to get laid! The only way you mess things up with these girls is by moving too slow which I cover in Better To Be Too Fast, Than Too Slow. If you don’t seal the deal with these girls on the 1st date, the odds of seeing her again are almost zero.

The easiest way to identify DTF Girls on the first date is that you will get the sense that, “This girl really digs me”. Another thing to look for is when she is back at your pad, she will have open body language and she will look comfortable.

I remember one super shy girl that barely talked on the first date. We went and grabbed frozen yogurt close to my place and I remembered thinking:

“I don’t think she even likes me, but I’m inviting her over to watch a movie anyway.”

Back at my place, her body language was open and when I told her to lie down on my bed to watch a movie she did so without hesitation. Turns out she was DTF, she just didn’t know how to show it. Taking her to your house reveals all.

There are ways to screen for only DTF Girls, thereby avoiding most of the other types of girls, but it will definitely cut down on the number of dates that you go on. If you ONLY want to date girls that are DTF, check out my “How To Screen For DTF Girls” article.



“I like this guy. I hope we have a good time and maybe even kiss!”

These are usually the young virgins and highly conservative girls that go into the first date with no intention of having sex (Yes, contrary to what you hear in the community, they are out there). They have never had first date sex and are not at all comfortable with the idea. To them, just kissing a guy is BIG deal. If you are just looking to get laid, then it’s best to screen these girls out, but if you’re looking for a great girlfriend, these girls usually fit the bill. Just treat them with kid gloves and don’t try to push for sex. If you move too quickly with these girls, you will scare them off even if they really liked you. You likely won’t get laid on the first date, but even if you just kissed her, it will leave a big impression on her, and because you met her expectations, she’ll usually want to see you again.

You can identify these girls by their nervous and closed off body language when they are back at your pad. They will look tense. If you see her bring her knees up to chest when she is sitting down or crossing her arms, she is not ready. You essentially pulled her out of the oven before she was cooked properly. You can’t get a girl aroused when she is this uncomfortable, so if you want to see this girl again, forget about sex for the moment and get her out of your creepy lair. Go take a walk, get to know her a bit better, touch her, kiss her, and drive her home. Keep it short and sweet – G rated.



“I hope this guy is fun, entertaining, pays for the date, makes the date convenient for me, and doesn’t expect to get laid anytime soon.”

These girls are a complete waste of time obviously, luckily they are easy to spot and screen out. You’ll figure out if they’re a time-waster or not when you set up the date. You usually want to plan the date to be as close to your place as possible, or even better, AT your place. However, you will get a lot of girls complaining that it’s too far and that you should meet her somewhere in the middle. I reply, “No problem. Where should I pick you up?” If she refuses to drive to my neighborhood and doesn’t want me to pick her up, guess what? 100% time-waster! Girls that are excited about meeting you will drive long distances, take transit or ask for a ride. Girls that will waste your time on a date that goes nowhere will NOT. You will probably have to go on a few dates that go nowhere before you internalized the numbers game and start to screen these girls out.



“I like this guy. I just don’t want him to think that I’m a slut if we have sex, but I guess I’ll wax my pussy and see what happens.”

These are the girls that are open to the idea of sex on the first date, they just don’t necessarily go in expecting it to happen. With a good game plan and a bit of persistence, a seasoned player can usually end up converting these girls. These are the girls that often resist you because they’re worried that you’ll think they’re slutty if they don’t put up a fight. Read my Escalation Article to deal with that.

You’ll be able to identify these girls by their open and relaxed body language when in your creepy pad. When you start physically escalating with these girls, they won’t be nervous or tense, but they will try to put the brakes on things. Again, she is not doing this because she doesn’t like you. She is doing this because the likes you and want to see you again and she is worried that if you think she is slutty, then you likely won’t want her as a girlfriend.



So there you have it. Those are the four types of girls that you will meet on the first date. Once you have a reliable and consistent game plan for getting laid on the first date, whether or not you get laid on the first date is primarily determined by the girl’s first date expectations.

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